The Year of the Move

A little over a year ago, we made a major family decision to move to Dallas, a decision that rocked our marriage and family in the process. We had lived in San Antonio almost 6 years at the time. I got my first “big girl” job there, we bought our first home there, I made some of my dearest, deepest friendships there, I learned to hear the voice of the Lord like never before at the sweetest church there, and I walked through one of the darkest seasons of my life there. I brought home two colicky newborns there and had a pack of girlfriends who brought wine and held my babies when I didn’t have the energy to. I had countless girls’ nights and fun playdates and regular days that felt like they would never end there too. There was just so much to leave, and I wasn’t sure I could when Erik asked me to move new city where I would have to start all over.

And let me just say, I put up my best fight. I pulled out all of the stops, telling him one night that he should just go without us, that I would stay back in San Antonio and would be just fine on my own (this coming from the girl who cannot make coffee by herself….just fine on my own?! Right.) A few weeks later, after a few long hours with our most favorite marriage counselor, I agreed that maybe I would at least consider whether this move might be a good thing for our family. 

As I began to really pray about it, (read: telling God why this was NOT a good idea and asking him to change Erik’s heart and job situation so that we could stay in our little bubble with all of our friends forever and ever), something strange happened. God started speaking to me that Dallas WAS what he had for me. Not just for Erik, but for me. And that I had a choice to make- I could really believe that and trust Him with all of the details that come with a major life move, or I could continue believing the lie that moving would be the worst thing ever and that Erik was trying to tear me away from everything and everyone that I loved in San Antonio. The thing is, I knew how important this move was to Erik. Erik loves his job and really loves his company, and him staying in San Antonio with his current company meant he wouldn’t have had much room for professional growth. Making him switch companies or jobs just so I could maintain my level of comfort and happiness would have just been wrong, and deep down, I knew it. But Erik wouldn’t make this job transition unless I was on board (because Erik is far more selfless than I am), so hearing the Lord assure me that he not only wanted this move to be for Erik’s benefit, but for our whole family, began to soften my heart to the possibility that this might turn out okay.

After a few more hard months and lots of counseling, we finally got on the same page, and the details then began to fall into place. I got a message one Friday morning last fall from a stranger on a neighborhood facebook group (the neighborhood down the street from Erik’s office in Dallas) giving me a heads up that a new house had been listed that morning and it met all the criteria that I had posted about a couple of weeks before. This neighborhood was known for houses being sold off-market, so the fact that one even came ON the market was rare. Our realtor in Dallas drove over to look at it later that morning, and called to tell us we needed to come see it in person because he couldn’t tell If I would like it (he had discovered quickly how “attentive to detail” I was about every.single.thing re: potential houses). The problem was that the sellers were planning on accepting a bid by the end of the weekend since they were expecting multiple offers. So the next day, I got up and drove 5 hours to see this house for exactly 30 minutes (before our showing got interrupted by an accidental double-booking). I was hesitant to make an offer because I thought the house needed some work, but Erik (who stayed back with the girls because his “attention to detail” is not quite as advanced as mine) was convinced that this was our house- it was in walking distance to his office and in our dream neighborhood- so we made the offer. I honestly wasn’t expecting us to get it, as there had already been several offers submitted, but on the drive home that night, I heard God clearly say that house would be ours. So when we found out that Sunday night they had accepted our offer, it was confirmation that A) I had heard God, and B) He was taking care of us with this move.

Fast forward to today, and I can honestly say our family is thriving in Dallas. Not to say that I don’t miss my tribe in San Antonio so much that it hurts sometimes, but I know I will have those special friendships for the rest of my life, regardless of the distance. Since we’ve moved, Erik is able to be home more than on the road, which has been a huge weight lifted off me in turn (a weight I didn’t even realize I was carrying). The girls love going to their new preschool, we adore our amazing church, and we have made some of the most wonderful friends here already. Not to mention our dream neighborhood, which conveniently came with some dream neighbors that we love doing life with. I can absolutely already see the fruit of God’s promise that Dallas would be a good fit for me as well as for Erik.

I feel a contentment in this season that I had been missing for a long time. And I don't think it was changing zip codes that brought that- it has been more about letting go of my death-grip on control and finally truly trusting that God's plans for my life really are for my good and not to harm me (Jer. 29:11). Maybe also it’s just a less hectic season with our kids getting a little older (A 2.5yr old 1.5yr old…which let me just tell you, is a heck of lot easier than a 1yr old and an infant), or maybe its just the cooler weather here lately that has me feeling grateful. Of course, we still have struggles and arguments and traffic (dear Lord, the traffic) here, because, well….life, man. But I am finding that living life from a place of contentment is so much less stressful than from a place of contention. I can’t say that I always submit to Erik’s leadership in every area of our marriage, but I am so grateful that I did this time- he really did know all along that this would be a good thing for all of us. It just took some kicking and screaming and maybe some of my claw marks in the San Antonio clay to make me realize it too :)

If there is something in your life you are holding on a little too tightly but really feel God's nudge to let it go, maybe press into that, and ask Him what He may have to give you instead? For me, it was giving up everything I thought brought me comfort- the familiarity of the life I had built for my family- to gain a deeper level of trust and comfort in God and my husband that I hadn't known before. And it really has been worth it.